That was my morning. I have been stressed out and sad for months now regarding my financial circumstances, but I've kept clinging to the Lord. Like the bleeding woman, I reached out because I knew if I could just touch His garment, all would be well. I reached out, grabbed hold of one of the tassels of his robes and I haven't let go. On some of the worst pain days and frustrating fatigue days, I let Him know, "I'm still holding on." But today was a culmination of all these things (not enough sleep included) and I. broke. down.
In a nutshell:
- The neighbor's massive Great Dane barked me awake somewhere between 3 and 3:30 a.m. and I couldn't fall back asleep. I was so tired, but you know how it is when you are so very tired, but w i i i i d e awake.
- I discovered why the dog was barking at 3 a.m. when the sun started rising and I noticed something in my backyard and went to investigate. Leftover bunny. 😦
- No milk for African tea (my morning addiction) because I ran out yesterday and didn't have the energy to run to the store.
- My heater is suddenly not working and baby, it's cold inside!
- Money I was supposed to have a week ago did not come and when I called to find out what was going on, I was told I had to wait at least three more business days.
- The money that did come in today's mail (also late) was less than half what it was supposed to be.
And that was it. I was done. I was done and I was yelling, like, "I'm done with this job! I'm done with these people! I'll go sell my plasma, God, or you better figure this out because I'm DONE!"
Aren't you glad He can take it?
I mean, hey, He already knows what's in our hearts and our minds so why not just let it out? I actually got that out of a grief book I perused at a book store before I even knew Jesus. And oh, I was grieving, because of course, "the plasma people probably wouldn't even take my blood because it's diseased, and oh, that's right, it isn't a disease...!" You get the drill, and I was crying by this time because I can't support myself. I can't work and when I do, I can't get paid like a normal person without expending more of my precious little energy tracking it down. And this whole time, between the yelling and the crying, I'm trying to read through my furnace manual. Cuz that's gunna happen!
I knew I needed a break and to calm down so I sat at my desk and made a Scripture printable. This verse helps me hold on to Jesus' tassel and I've been meaning to make it into a printable for a couple weeks now. I couldn't figure out how to make it downloadable since this is officially my first attempt at sharing a printable (and I don't think free blogger is set up to do that) so I ended up making it into a JPEG. I hope you can download it - or at least print it!